So this is my first ever blog about me myself and Crohn’s. This is my third time of writing it too, first one was too boring, second one got deleted as my phone died and this is the third. So let’s hope it’s third time lucky? So I’m 20 and have Crohn’s disease. A life threatening, life long illness. No cure and hundreds of side effects. Am I sick? As a bloody chip. But I’ve gotta keep on going don’t i? Can’t let this bitch take over my life can I? So I’ll start from the beginning when and how I got diagnosed. Looking back now I’ve had the symptoms of Crohn’s from the age of about 14-15. Yeah mad how I only got diagnosed 2 years ago isn’t it? It was my own fault though. The pains I was getting came and went every now and again and because they went away for so long at a time, I forgot about it and never thought anything of it. Anyway I hit 17 and noticed I’d started bleeding from my bum obviously I thought it was just piles at first but because I knew there wasn’t anything hanging out my bum I knew that shit was about to get serious. I knew that the amount of blood that was coming out of me every time I went for a poo was just not normal. Eventually I plucked up the courage to go to the doctors with my partner by my side. I went and seen my usual GP who was already aware of the history of Crohn’s in my family. (My mam got diagnosed in about 1996 and my auntie about a year before me) My GP examined my bum and told me that is was really inflamed. He did this while my partner was in the room. I felt totally violated, embarrassed and horrid. This is something no one should ever have to experience but I guess it was probably the best thing that ever happened to me cause if it hadn’t, I wouldn’t have ever found out that I have Crohn’s. Anyway after chatting with the doctor about symptoms etc. he decided to refer me to a gastroenterologist straight away. No pussyfooting around. It was at that point I knew that without a doubt I had Crohn’s. I told my mam everything and I think deep down she knew too but she didn’t want to believe that it was. We didn’t really mention it again until the appointment to see my consultant came through. I could see how worried my mam had became but I was still being just not bothered. My consultant felt my tummy and asked loads of questions. I remember that appointment like it was yesterday because it was red hot outside and even hotter in the hospital and I remember as he was examining me I was sweaty and my skin was all clammy and I felt totally and utterly vile but the more I thought about it the more hot and flustered I got so I just wanted to get out of there ASAP. Eventually the appointment was over. The outcome? Well it had to be the dreaded colonoscopy. I was 18 and getting a camera UP MY BUM! I was mortified! I had to wait for the appointment for that to come through the post but before that I had to go into the hospital for my pre assessment and get all my Bowen prep and stuff oh and so they could sit and talk me through this lush procedure I was going to have. I mean it made me feel so much better about it… Not! So, I think that was the week before or something and then the following week I had to follow this horrendous diet then take loads of laxatives. At the time I was working in a Chinese and they didn’t believe that I needed three days off. Trying to explain this to people that don’t really understand English was just impossible! I think I ended up going to work on the same night I had the procedure. Ass holes! Anywayyyy back to the blog, the day finally arrived and I swear when they said my mam couldn’t come with me I nearly cried. I felt like I was about to have an operation and felt like a tiny little kid all lonely and ugh it was awful! So I went through trying not to cry I got changed trying not to cry I got stabbed with a needle while they put a cannula in, trying not to cry. Go wheeled into the room trying not to cry and when I seen it was a woman I felt a whole lot better. I can remember lying on my side when she asked my to and my bum falling out the covers and I pulled the blanket over and then realised what’s the point so I pulled it back and said ‘I might as well leave that out’ I mean how bloody embarrassing. The doctor was like, well we will just cover it up for now. I swear she was trying not to laugh but I was nervous and you say stupid things when your nervous don’t you? Anyway they offered me this ‘sedation’ relaxation drug thing and I thought YES ILL NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING so I took that thinking yeah buddy and when she told me it was like being stoned I thought mintttttttt! However did it work? NO! I remember everything I mean every little thing! I was gutted but glad cause I found it totally fascinating. I had to stop writing this late last night and come back to it this morning cause my eyes were burning I was that tired. So I’ll continue 😊 I asked loads of questions as the camera went round and everything looked great until she reached my terminal ileum and there it was a very small piece of inflamed bowel. I asked what that meant and straight away she said, I suspect it’s Crohn’s disease. I was so glad that I finally had answers and that something could now be done about it. I wasn’t scared I was more excited to get started on some meds so my symptoms would bugger off. After that I had another follow up with my consultant and we decided azathioprine was a good medication to start on. I refused steroids and I still do because I already struggle to lose weight with the Crohn’s alone and don’t want to end up any fatter because of avoidable meds. Another reason why I refused them is because I know it’s only a short term fix. My mam was on and off them my whole life and she was great while she was on them but as soon as she came off them she was back to square one. To me that seemed pointless. Anyhow I started the azathioprine and all was going great until three weeks into taking it I had to go to A&E. It was June or July I think I know this because it was the morning of the air show and I wasn’t missing it! I went really early in the morning so it was pretty quiet and I got seen pretty quickly. The doctors were bamboozled as they couldn’t figure out where the pain was coming from. It wasn’t until they took some bloods that all became clear. The nurse came in and said your bloods have shown pancreatitis. I was like what the hell is that? Haha! She explained that it was inflammation of the pancreas but couldn’t understand how I had it as I didn’t drink. She came and went about four times. I was demented. Jonny googled if my meds could have caused it and apparently they could. So we told the nurse when she came back and she was like ohhhhhh yes. Like duh! You should have known that anyway. Your the doctor. Not us. So as time was getting on I said to her look I need to go but I promise I’ll come back if I get any worse cause I wasn’t missing the airs how for no one! She discharged me on the condition that I did some back if I got any worse. I was like look, I’m not stupid! I’ll come back if I get any worse. So I got my discharge papers and off I toddled. My nana and jonny were with me that day because my mam was away and some motorbike thing. She always goes to them. I asked my nana to give us a lift to sunderland so we could get on the bus to the airs how from there. Because I came well prepared we had all our stuff with us anyway so we didn’t need to. Go back home or anything we could just go straight there. We got there eventually, me high on tramadol and still in agony but I lasted the day just with minimal fun. Like I didn’t go on any rides just literally sat and watched the planes. I couldn’t even enjoy any food as every time I ate it killed me. Anyway I’ll cut to the chase cause I’m babbling a bit. Told you I babble. I ended up going back to the hospital either the same day or the day after I can’t quite remember whenever it was though I got admitted. I didn’t know how long I was going to be in for. I was gutted. I hated hospitals and just wanted my mam and jonny there all the time. The ward I was on was actually really good and let my mam come early on the morning and stay all day with me. So that wasn’t so bad. What was bad was how constipated I was it was horrible! That was when I experienced my first enema. Vile things they are but it helped. I was in hospital for three days and was told to stop taking the aza. My Crohn’s subsided for a bit then for a good few months. Three weeks of the meds and pancreatitis was well worth it. I’m gunna do this blog in two parts. As there’s so much to write. This is the end of part one. I’ll write the rest soon. THAnks for reading xxxx
Part 1. My journey
09 Monday Jun 2014
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